Note: Gazing is part of the transmission work we do both in personal and during phone sessions. Although it seems that gazing in person is the most direct and potent method of receiving the transmission, it also appears that transmission by telephone is just as effective. I've worked with many students who have experienced deep awakening transitions within just a few phone sessions.

Gazing

Of all the magic that is manifesting in our work, gazing is perhaps the most amazing. Without this piece of the puzzle, it’s hard for me to imagine this whole thing actually working.

I have often thought of gazing as the landing lights on the runway of Being. Or perhaps like those glowing batons that the guys on the tarmac use to guide the planes into their final resting place. Gazing is like those guys saying to the pilot, "It’s OK– you’re in the right place. You can rest here; your journey has ended." For those of you who have been on the journey for a long time, who have been circling in the fog around so many airports, waiting for someone to give you clearance to land… to finally hear the control tower say, "pilgrim, you’re cleared to land," and to see those runway lights up ahead feels like coming home from a war.

But is this just another mirage? The prospect that it’s really true is not merely hard to believe. For some, it has become impossible. It brings up all your fears that this is yet another false promise. Still, how long can you afford to stay in one more holding pattern, especially when you are running so low on gas? It seems that if you don’t make a gentle landing soon, you will simply crash-land and die.

One of the few things I remember about my first meeting with Saniel was this: in response to a question, he said, "This is a finishing school for the realization of Consciousness. If you stick around, you will have your awakening here, and quite directly." This was my personal clearance to land. The rest of my awakening process was mere details: learning how to land. Each time I would gaze with Saniel, the runway became clearer. Sometimes there would be a great fog, and I couldn’t see my way at all. But Saniel was like the radar signal, always letting me know where I was, always clear despite my cloudiness.

On the way down, I had to learn how to really feel my vehicle. I had to learn how to feel the feedback from the stick and the rudder. These were things that Saniel couldn’t teach me how to do, and he knew it—he was just talking me down from the tower. But when it comes to clear feedback from one who is already on the ground, I couldn’t have asked for anyone with more skill and patience. He was always right there with the right things to say at the right moment. One of his most famous sayings is, "Dare to grasp the means of your own realization." In the context of this analogy, that’s like saying, "Now that you have clearance to land, lean forward and grab the controls!"

I remember once, after hearing Saniel talk about the witness, I asked him where he felt I stood in my process of awakening consciousness. I figured that, after decades of regular meditation techniques and hard inner work, it would be pretty obvious to him that I was clearly in the witness position. He told me in a kind way that he felt I was witnessing from the higher mind, but not from consciousness. I was furious! How dare he miss my evolved state of Being! But, in hindsight, I think he did me a world of good to state his assessment so clearly. It was as if Saniel was saying, "Don’t land there... the airport is here!" For me, this permitted a drop, about eight weeks later, into my real witness realization. Then, and only then, and for the first time in my life, I knew what Consciousness was. All my previous spiritual experience had, on some level, taught me nothing about consciousness. What I had previously thought was consciousness was actually a sort of refined mental and energetic facsimile.

For me, dropping into the witness realization was like dropping beneath a dense, low cloud cover, feeling my ears pop, and suddenly seeing the world perfectly clearly. After having spent nearly all my life in the clouds, I could finally see the landscape of my life in every detail. Suddenly, it was all perfectly obvious: I really was a separate vehicle in the air, finally coming in for a landing on the Ground of Being. And I could see the airport in the distance, with all its runways and landing lights glowing. This was real. And I was already in line for my own, personal landing.

I even witnessed friends landing just ahead of me. When one friend landed, I could see it happening. The instant she touched down, she could feel everything in a whole new way. And she looked and felt very different to me, too. Of course, I was a bit jealous, wondering why she got to land before me. But then I saw her becoming part of the ground crew and preparing the way for others—like me.

And finally, it was my time to come in. My firend was there, gazing with me. Showing me where the runway edges were. Showing me silently the place I was landing. I could see it in her eyes. I could feel her silently whispering, "Here is your home. Here is All of you. Light lines, dark pavement. It’s all part of Your Being. This is Who You Are. You can land here." For me, it was a near-perfect landing into my second birth. Just a slight bump, the brief roar of the engines suddenly in reverse, and then the blessed quieting. As the whining engines of seeking began to shut down, I felt a wave of total relief sweep through my body. You really have no idea what a racket those engines make until they stop.

The next day, while gazing with Saniel, he was the guy on the tarmac with the glowing baton. His eyes were saying, "Welcome home, Ted. We’ve been waiting for you."

© 1999 Ted Strauss