Are You Leaping Out Of The moment?

I think we have all been exposed to the spiritual idea and snotty attitude that we are somehow escaping our own moment. Supposedly, when we are living in fear, in our heads, thinking about the past or the future, we are leaping out of our own moment, and can never awaken that way. "Be Here Now!" they say, usually with a pejorative tone in their voice, as if to say "shame on you! Whatever you just did was not spiritual!" And perhaps we hang our heads in response either visibly or inwardly, wishing we were either enlightened or dead. 

Can you leave your own moment? Bullshit. There IS only this moment. Therefore, there is absolutely no possible way to escape it. What I would say is that when attention is fixated in our head, we are leaping out of our PHYSICAL moment; escaping awareness of our Earthbound reality. But we’re still in the moment. We’re just more in awareness of the mental dimension or our moment and less aware of the other dimensions. Awakening means awakening to the fact that you are being ALL of it. Therefore, it is dropping out of all exclusive fixations.

By the way, there is a really good reason why we tend to escape awareness of our Earthbound moment. it is because We are God, Trapped in Hell. Period. That is the Reality we do not want to see.

The enneagram maps the various strategies we employ to escape from our whole-Being reality. However, what the other enneagram teachers (and indeed, most other spiritual teachers on the planet) will suggest to you is that if your become awakened, you have a more positive experience of life. I say that real awakening gives you both a more positive AND a more negative experience and view of life. I say that true awakening is awakening to ALL of what life is, and ALL of what You are, which is both fully Divine, and fully human. God Trapped in Hell. The Core Wound.

When you are ready, and since it's impossible to avoid the current moment anyway because there IS only this very moment, skip the process of trying to stop yourself from avoiding it or from trying to figure out how or why you're escaping it, or from making yourself or others wrong for trying to escape it, and simply start examining it. Find its contours, it edges, its dimensions, its depths. What is the total reality of this moment? Since the moment includes YOU, then Who are YOU? Who or What is this very Self? That, my friend, is a mystery equaled only by the mysteries of Other and of Relationship. There are three basic mysteries: Self, Other(s), and Relationship. If you go exploring Life, make sure you explore all three directions. As far as I can tell, these three directions encompass ALL of what Life is.

If you go exploring Self, Other, and Relationship (Being), and if you go deeply in all directions, you will gather a glimpse of the infinity of all three directions. As you explore, you will find yourself getting stuck (fixated) in various places in each of these three great dimensions of Being. These fixations are absolutely natural and, as far as I can tell, inescapable. Therefore, you needn't be overly concerned about where you are currently fixated. Your concerns have basically centered around escaping something that is bad, or yearning for something that is good. And all the while you have been worried that you will not escape the bad place or get to the good place before you die. I am here to assure that nothing else is much better. I have been to the grass on the other side, and it is not greener. And furthermore, not all of you is going to die when your body dies, so you need not be in a rush either toward or away from anything. Therefore, let yourself be fully where you are, even inside of your own stress about the bad place you may never fully escape or the good place you may never fully attain.

The reason why the world of Earth (Shakti -- the realm of Other) is so alluring, and so entrapping of attention away from the other two directions, is because it is infinitely deep and fascinating. Each and every particle of manifest creation is infinitely deep with Promise. She promises you something alluring, something amazing, something so remarkable that you have no choice but to follow. Many will tell you "Don't Follow Her! She will mislead you! Pull back and resist her enticements! If you want to find The Truth (that mythical and ever-Alluring Enticement of all Enticements), you must dissociate from Life, from Her, and live as a Warrior! Be one-pointed and undistracted in your search, and you will find what you seek." But I say that if you pull back from Her, you are Lost indeed, for you have discarded your only Guide in this wilderness. If you continue to follow Her, she will introduce you to her consort, Shiva: the Lord of Emptiness.

The reason why the world of Spirit (Shiva -- the realm of Self) is so alluring, and so entrapping of attention away from the other two directions, is because it is such a damned wonderful relief from the realms of Other and Relationship. Each and every moment spent it Its blissful Ease is a moment of Absolute Release. And, without even feeling it in comparison with the other realms, in Itself, it is beyond all yearning, beyond all searching, beyond all moments, and beyond all worlds of problems and death. Once you find the realm of true Spirit, who could blame you for not wanting to leave it exclusively? I cannot blame you for that. The world of Spirit is, in His own realm, both the Supreme Attainment and the Supreme Non-attainment of all time, for all places, and for all Beings. Many will tell you "Go there! That is the place to be, the final, and most ultimate hangout. If you attain that awareness, you must stay there, for that is the most happy place to live in the universe. If you attain that, you must try never to leave, for to leave is to drop into Hell." But I say that you must leave that place as an exclusive hangout. I say that if you must find the whole truth, you must drop into Hell. If you must find the whole truth, you must leave the realm of Spirit as an exclusive identification and continue on your great quest. But to continue on your quest, you will need new guides. Therefore, you must abandon your old guides. You must embark on a new journey; the journey of relationship. Having followed Shiva through the realm of Self, He leads you not back to Shakti, but to Chinnamasta - the goddess of relationship.

The reason why the world of Tantra (Shiva/Shakti -- the realm of relationship) is so alluring, and so entrapping of attention away from the other two directions, is because it can never be resolved, although it promises resolution. The seeming paradox of Earth and Spirit is that both are so damned REAL, yet apparently standing in opposition to each other. If Infinite consciousness is Real, then how can Shakti be real? Surely, they can't BOTH be real, because we are told that life is One, and here we have Two. So one of these two must be an impostor. Shiva declares the impostor to be Shakti, not only because he is afraid of losing his reality, but also because he can rightfully charge that Shakti is always changing, and therefore not real. His reasoning seems a bit flawed, however, if you notice that he making up his own definition. Real, he says, is That Which Never Changes. Shakti declares the impostor to be Herself, because she has fallen into the hypnosis of Shiva's lame reasoning. Therefore, for the past 5,000 years or so, Shakti has been the chronic identified patient. I say that, even though it makes zero sense, neither is an impostor because BOTH ARE REAL. I say that BOTH the Absolute and the Relative are not only REAL, but One and SAME!!! I say that life is not merely One, but BOTH ONE AND TWO. This realization is the last thing anybody wanted, because it signals the end of the fight, the beginning of the sacred marriage of Shiva and Shakti in eternal mutual embrace, and the awakening into our total reality as God Trapped in Hell.

All addictions (see Seekers Anonymous) are fixations. Simply feeling the core wound (the feeling of being God trapped in Hell) is the way back into your unfixated, total moment. If you are willing to feel the Core Wound, you have no further need to fixate anywhere, because you are neither moving toward something better, nor avoiding anything worse. You are simply being in the hardest place to stand in the universe: your whole Reality. The reality of the Universal Infinite squeezed into the itty-bitty living space of you. 

The Core Wound, the feeling of being God Trapped in Hell, is your beacon, your sacred ally. It is calling to you from the place where you are already integrated. The Core Wound IS the place where you are already integrated, because the Core Wound (The Pain of Unity) is the feeling of being Awake and totally present. The Core Wound is the feeling of being Awake and present to your Total Reality. The Core Wound encompasses All of Who you Truly ARE. 

There is no final Truth. There is no ultimate word on any subject in the universe of Being. I cannot lead you through this world of Mystery. I can only lead you TO it. Once you have entered, once you have walked through that door, you have entered Life with us. And the Mystery will be revealed to You as to no Other. 

© Ted Strauss 8/24/01